I would like to invite you to do some contemplation regarding whether you are somehow withholding from giving your full presence to life. I understand that my invitation may sound too esoteric or philosophical, yet it is really rather practical with immense implications for your happiness and fulfillment in this lifetime.
When we occupy our minds for very much time focusing on how our circumstances are not what we expected, desire to have, or believe to be unfair, it is useful to conceptualize ourselves as in some sense engaging in a strike with life. It is like we stop the work of living life to the fullest, because we are unhappy with the “work” environment. Gossiping, complaining, and resenting may all be seen as a form of picketing. The same can be said of behaving addictively in ways that harm the body, numb the mind and limit us in really connecting with life as it is and using our lives to expand the expression of love and peace in the world.
When I speak of complaining, I am not referring to assertively expressing how some of our needs may not have been met, with the goal of problem solving and resolving conflict. I am speaking of complaining in the form of holding on to a grievance with reality.
Life is meant to be lived as fully as possible with the greatest possible love and actualization of our gifts and abilities, regardless of how different our current and past circumstances are from what we may believe that they ought to look like. Yet, there is an epidemic of self-righteous complaining going on, with people focusing on how their past or present reality should be different from what it actually was and currently is. Remember, there is only so much sand in the hour glass of our lifetime.
Although I am referring to complaining as problematic and wasteful of life, I am not in any way recommending a stoic silence. Rather, I am suggesting that we will all be happier, more fulfilled and constructive when we accept that things are as they are in the moment and as they were in the past, and at the same time proactively work with determination to the best of our abilities to create our lives as we would like them to be. This requires continually forgiving reality for being as it is in the moment, which depending upon the challenges that we have faced and currently face will require different amounts of inner emotional work. This applies to trauma, abuse, disability, death of a loved one, loss of a job, being treated differently than desired, and even for the serious physical challenge of ALS which is known for relentlessly robbing an individual of one physical ability after another until the breath of life is taken away.
A person with ALS recently told me that I was ridiculous wanting to be a cripple with optimal wellness. Although I do require assistance nearly 24/7 to meet my basic needs (I never refer to myself as crippled), I feel a yearning from the bottom of my heart to use my life to the fullest to serve life with optimal wellness. Life is a gift. Period. To spend our limited time on earth resenting our circumstances is misguided and a sure sign of a mind that requires healing. Most of us require such healing, some only a little and others enormously so. To hold on to resentment is to choose to create more hell for ourselves and less heaven, on earth.
I am committed to having the optimal wellness of mind, body, and spirit of which I am capable. I have experienced amazing transformations through my training as a clinical psychologist, years of psychoanalysis, and nearly 18 years of an extremely intensive holistic healing journey with ALS. I have a level of happiness and fulfillment that many people simply are unable to comprehend, given my circumstances. I still have urges arise to complain, resent and to a lesser extent gossip, yet when I become aware of them I immediately set myself upon a course of understanding what is behind it and then fashioning a healing strategy to resolve and come to terms with the issue at hand. When I publish an autobiography, the world will get a glimpse of the excruciating battles which I have fought to arrive at where I am.
I have committed the rest of my life, which will be several more decades God willing, to helping the world have greater wellness through my leadership of THE HEALERS campaign. No matter whom you are or what your circumstance, even if you see yourself as a crippled human being with a death sentence hanging over your head, THE HEALERS campaign believes in the value of your wellness. I invite everyone who is on some level unhappy and suffering, to consider calling the strike off and instead of picketing join THE HEALERS in focusing upon learning and practicing more healing approaches to life. Although striking may sometimes be an effective strategy in the work day world, striking in the sense that I describe above will limit your happiness and fulfillment when replied upon as a strategy.
Craig Oster, Ph.D.