By Andrew Nalian
There are two types of pain, physical and emotional. These pains can also transcend to each other, by getting head aches from emotional pain, to being emotionally damaged by physical pain. My first out of state job was a seasonal job in the beautiful state of Alaska. I arrived mid season, having to fulfill a contract of roughly two months. I was working in the food and beverage industry, and arrived at a time when the workplace became extremely competitive. I was the new kid, and everyone already had their cliques; I was an outcast. This wasn’t my only challenge. I also was a victim of workplace-bullying. As I said before, the job became very competitive and their obvious goal was to get me to either quit or get fired.
There are many different effects to being bullied: depression, anxiety, health issues, violent outbreaks, decreased academic achievement, changes in sleeping and eating patterns, and loneliness. During the time I was bullied, I began to experience the depression, anxiety, loneliness, no sleep, and minimal eating. I then decided to step back and look at my life from a different perspective. How can I win over my bullies? How can I restore my mental health? A little voice in the back of my mind whispered, Kill them with kindness.
The next morning, my life changed drastically. I decided to start my very own good deed challenge. I would pick someone new every day, be it a friend or a bully, and do at least one good deed for them. The deed could be something as simple as holding the door for someone, to a hand written letter giving my appreciation. As I did these deeds, I witnessed many changes taking place. For the friends I already had, I was able to gain even more respect, but to the individuals who bullied me, the results were a little complicated. I’ll use the first name of one of my bullies, Ryan, to simplify matters.
I went above and beyond to make Ryan’s life easier, from making sure all the water glasses were full on each table he was serving, to bringing out his food when he was running behind. What was unique was how Ryan’s personality and demeanor was different in an individual setting vs. a group setting. When it was just him and me, he would begin to say thank you for your help. If we were in a group, he had to act as the big bad wolf and make sure to show his dominance towards me. The simple fact that he subconsciously was being more respectful one on one tells me that no good deed goes unnoticed.
The greatest change I noticed was the change that was taking place inside of me. My head-aches started to go away. I was able to return to a normal sleeping and eating pattern. I felt my depression lift. When we struggle, the first thought that comes to our minds is, How can we make our lives better? It takes a strong individual to realize that making the lives of those around you better coincides with a healthier life for you.
I then stepped back and looked at my career. Do I want to be in the food and beverage industry for the rest of my life? I realized I could do much more with my life, so I did what any sensible individual would do in a mid life crisis, and react quickly. I quit my job and decided to move home to start a life of self fulfillment.
I realized how much doing good deeds helped heal me, and I wanted to share it with the world. I decided to create the book, 50 Deeds for Those in Need, with the very simple concept of doing good deeds. I give the reader 50 good deeds to do, my reason behind doing it, and a motivational quote to go with. Every five to seven deeds, I included an inspirational story from an individual who overcame adversity, from a rabbi who grew up in hiding from being Jewish, to an individual who made it to Team USA for the paralympics. If you could make a conscious effort to do one good deed a day, think of the effect it would have on the world.
As well as the book, I am guest speaking in public schools on the topics of anti-bullying, building character, and how to step out of your comfort zone. I do not believe in evil, but instead the absence of good. I do not believe in darkness, but instead the absence of light. The challenge I have for everyone I speak to is to try and eliminate as much evil as they can by creating good. You can find out more about me at www.50DeedsForThoseInNeed.com. If you are interested in booking me to speak to your group, you can email me at TheDeedDoctor@gmail.com
How are you going to eliminate evil?